BLIND EARS
On the hatred of female homosexuality
Lesbians are alone.
I know what you are thinking right now: you support lesbians, you believe they deserve to be left in peace by trans identifying males trying to convert them to the magic of the feminine dick through the coercive tactic of what I call semantic homosexuality - you have nothing against lesbians.
I know, and I appreciate it but the crushing reality cannot be changed by good intentions nor by rightful indignation, if you are a lesbian you have always been alone and you likely always will be, I do not see a possibility for change, if I am honest I only see the darkness growing, and I am not saying any of this because I want you to feel pity, or because I want to make my lesbian readers even more depressed, I am saying it because nobody does, I am saying it because sometimes hearing the ugliest truth presented without a coating of sugar is cathartic and I have never felt the need for catharsis more than I do right now so I hope that you will keep reading this less than positive essay and I hope that you will understand my anger.
The defining characteristics of a lesbian are that she is female and homosexual, she has no interest towards men, she does not center men in her life, she is unique in the way male sexual desire does not shape or influence her life, nobody besides lesbians can say this about themselves, this is what distinguishes and separates lesbians from the whole of society: gay men, straight women, bisexual people, all of these sexualities depend on the male sex in one way or another, and I am not using the word “depend” in a denigratory way, all humans have needs and some of those needs in many cases must be fulfilled by a companion - gay men love men, straight women love men, bisexual people also love men, lesbians don’t, lesbians exclusively love women, the axis of dick has no control over a lesbian.
It is very important that you understand this, that you realize just how impactful this difference is, because it is the reason why lesbians are alone and so profoundly hated, misunderstood, disregarded by the vast majority of people.
It’s no use denying the power that men have over society, the world belongs to men, it is ruled by men, their needs, their desire, if you don’t care about men you don’t care about the head of the house, the ruler of society, you don’t care about the God whose religion has been forced upon you, and how dare you! You are a heathen and a danger to the established structure, you cannot be allowed to show others that happiness is possible without the God, the ruler, the man. Even lesbian sexuality is measured in relation to men, it’s everywhere in the language used to describe us: we aren’t lesbians because we love women we are lesbians because we don’t like men, we have sex with women because men think it’s hot, we kiss each other because men find it arousing but then we must have “real” sex, reality being the penis.
Recently I have been forced to take a prolonged break from twitter - it is evident that my opinions are not well seen by the censors - during this break I told myself I would avoid topics related to trans activism, the gender cult, I told myself I would try to simply exist as a radical feminist lesbian without sharing my opinions, I’ll read a book, watch a TV show, scroll on social media just for personal entertainment.
Needless to say it did not go well, every single day - and I am not exaggerating - I would stumble upon something that would make my heart drop down to my stomach and travel back up like a bloody yoyo, I was casually told that “trans butch lesbians” (aka straight gender conforming men) need more support and visibility than actual butch lesbians, that literature has to be “queered” by straight people, that you don’t need to be homosexual or have any homosexual tendencies in order to belong to the LGBT community, that Virginia Woolf was “queer”, I saw a mixed sex group being referred to as a group of women because the male among them was wearing makeup and a dress, straight women are queer if their husbands wear pink, straight men are queer if they admire lesbians, a straight couple is queer if their wedding was a little unconventional, everything is queer, I am not a lesbian, only trans women are lesbians, what I am is queer, weird, wrong!
I saw confident butch lesbians celebrate double mastectomies and hormones prescriptions to become their true selves :”men”, I was told that attraction to women must mean that deep down you are a male in the wrong body, lesbians are not necessarily women, no they are non-men attracted to non-men, I was told that somebody’s girlfriend having been born with a penis does not mean either of them is any less of a lesbian, that occasionally enjoying sex with men makes a valid lesbian and I am just hateful, that it took a pandemic and a healthy consumption of pornographic content to make a lesbian come out of what was once a straight man, I saw a woman joke about inexplicably falling in love with a man while calling herself a lesbian.
It was a constant, just by simply existing in the world as myself - no controversial opinions shared, no algorithm purposefully feeding me trans activist content to challenge - because I am a lesbian simply looking for content that centers lesbians I am constantly exposed to what I can only call a form of violence.
I can’t escape this monstrosity, there is no way out and the more I try to smile through the pain and carry on the more I feel caged, trapped, alone. If I want to be accepted, if I want to participate in society, promote my writing, build a social media following I must lie to myself, I must become somebody else, I must deny my reality to cater to a group of people who cannot bare the thought of a woman who does not care about men.
If you are not a lesbian you cannot imagine what it feels like to meet and talk to another lesbian, for your entire life you are stranded in a foreign country when all of a sudden somebody comes along that speaks your language, understands your culture and does not need you to talk about it. When I am around the few lesbian friends I have I am free, it does not matter the topic, it does not matter if we disagree, whatever we say lands on ears grown in the same lonely struggle.
I love my lesbian friends, I am proud of being a lesbian and I am angry for what it is being done to us, I am angry because nobody truly understands how enormous the problem is, how impossible to escape, I am angry because I still (STILL! ) have to explain to people that lesbians are women, that we are not exempt from misogyny just because we don’t care about men - we are the most vulnerable and most interesting targets of trans activism because we encompass the two things they hate the most, we are female and homosexual at the same time, who do we think we are saying that we aren’t attracted to men? It’s no problem you silly little lesbian now men are also women so there, you can have sex with a penis now, why not, it’s a girldick, you like girls.
As a woman you aren’t allowed boundaries, as a lesbian your boundaries exist to be broken, there is no peace for lesbians.
Before my hiatus from twitter activism I had a bunch of gay men tell me that they do not want to hear about lesbians, they aren’t in the gender critical movement to hear about lesbians and frankly we should all stop acting like we have it worse than everyone else. Well I do not care about oppression olympics and I am not expecting this essay to open anyone’s eyes if they don’t care, I made peace with the loneliness that comes with being a lesbian, what I cannot make peace with is the active effort to make us all cower and disappear, lesbians are not allowed to exist anymore, we must be either queer or bisexual otherwise we are unacceptable, and if we are respected as simply homosexual females we still have to shut up because the men need the audience more - no, I will not shut up and I will ask you if you can find it in you to be angrier, I will ask you to be even angrier than you were before because this is not just a matter of fairness or morality, there are young lesbians out there being told that they cannot exist, there is a generation of women who can only choose between mutilation and rape unless they hide who they are.
I can’t bring myself to end this with an uplifting message because I don’t know where to find it right now, I walk the world trying to gauge if the rainbow go lucky “LGBT ally” in front of me is in fact a lesbophobe who believes my nature is wrong the same way a Catholic priest would.
I could move on top of a mountain with my wife and forget about these matters, I am among the lucky ones , I was strong and proud before the trans meteor struck but I believe we owe it to the younger generation of lesbians to not give up so I will say this, if you feel like there is no hope I understand where you are coming from and I am listening, maybe the path will remain dark but I will add my flame to yours and maybe we will see the dangers before it’s too late.
— Letizia C.